Thursday, November 20, 2008

Calling All Wankers!

A new ad on MySpace features a blonde girl (who seems quite proud of her new implants) asking, "Sick of an empty bed?" Which sounds like a trick question with an obviously easy answer, like: "Well, go get in it - then it won't be empty!" But wait. The ad also says one can, "Find A No-Strings-Attached Relationship!" Ahhhh, so that's what this is all about.

Well, let's have a look. Shall we?

First of all, if you're the kind of person who this ad appeals to, then your bed is going to be as empty as your soul, no matter how many people you get to climb into it with you. You're a wanker. Seriously.

You see, that's how stoopid and souless advertisers think (and hope) we are. They're counting on a significant number of us not being smart enough to know that: if there are no-strings-attached, there's no relationship. A relationship requires some kind of real interconnectedness. What the ad is talking about is really just masturbation -- but instead of using one's hand, or a 'toy' of some kind, one uses another person.

Sexy, huh?

Such ads are brought to you by the same passion pimps that have managed to get so many people to refer to a one-night stand as "making love".

Man, you can almost smell the rot from here.


Nonprophet said...

Those ads are so funny. We all know that the really good-looking, fun girls work at the party lines advertised on TV. Those girls don't go out, they stay in and meet guys on the party lines. They even said so. You know what though? I'm pretty sure that the girl in the picture on that ad was behind us in line at Kroger the other night. That explains why we couldn't find the two cantaloupe we bought when we got home. That bitch must have stolen them, and smuggled them out under her shirt. Damn these hard economic times. Poor girl probably hadn't eaten in days.

Ricky said...

She needed those cantaloup to fill out her vitamin C-cups!