Thursday, November 20, 2008

Calling All Wankers!

A new ad on MySpace features a blonde girl (who seems quite proud of her new implants) asking, "Sick of an empty bed?" Which sounds like a trick question with an obviously easy answer, like: "Well, go get in it - then it won't be empty!" But wait. The ad also says one can, "Find A No-Strings-Attached Relationship!" Ahhhh, so that's what this is all about.

Well, let's have a look. Shall we?

First of all, if you're the kind of person who this ad appeals to, then your bed is going to be as empty as your soul, no matter how many people you get to climb into it with you. You're a wanker. Seriously.

You see, that's how stoopid and souless advertisers think (and hope) we are. They're counting on a significant number of us not being smart enough to know that: if there are no-strings-attached, there's no relationship. A relationship requires some kind of real interconnectedness. What the ad is talking about is really just masturbation -- but instead of using one's hand, or a 'toy' of some kind, one uses another person.

Sexy, huh?

Such ads are brought to you by the same passion pimps that have managed to get so many people to refer to a one-night stand as "making love".

Man, you can almost smell the rot from here.

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

The Morning After

Well, now that Republicans are waking up to a world that didn't end – and Democrats are waking up to a New Jerusalem that will never be – let's focus on what should (for Christians) be the important things.

First of all: Jesus is still Lord. The Gospel is still the greatest news of all. And the followers of Jesus are still expected to take up their crosses daily and follow Him. Whatever happens to the economy, or on Wall Street ; whether taxes, or employment, go up or down ; whether the government grows more or less intrusive, we have a higher calling. Our citizenship (and, therefore, our ultimate allegiance) belongs to another Kingdom. We serve another King.

Second of all: Hopefully, the habit that too many conservative Christians have gotten into, of thinking the government can be a helpful partner in the Great Commission, is coming to an end. We need more faithful disciples, and fewer political power-players. We need more prayer, and less rhetoric. And those conservative Christians need to be humbled enough to be ready to reach out in Grace and Compassion to their liberal brothers and sisters, once they come to realize the awful truth that no amount of legislation will ever establish Heaven on Earth.

May Republicans be gracious in defeat. May Democrats be humble in victory. But, most importantly, may those of us who claim the Cross of Christ become all that he has called us to be: transcending political cant and partisan rhetoric – and bring, instead, healing and hope to a lost and increasingly desperate nation.

Something happened in this election that many thought was still years away from being a reality. After 200+ years as a nation, we have our first black president. We should rejoice in this (whatever our political inclinations). We should be ashamed that it's still even an issue, but grateful that we have finally broken through such an ugly barrier.

The Bible admonishes us to pray for those in positions of authority – whether we like them, or not. We should pray daily that God will protect President Obama from those that are evil enough to seek his harm. We should pray daily that he will make wise decisions about how to govern this country. And we should pray that people will see more of Jesus in us than anything else.