Everybody Must Get Stoned... (part 1)

Over at the Internet Monk site, Michael Spencer recently posted a piece entitled: You Tell Me…Why Does Red Envelope Day Bother Me? And the usual disdain for the shallowness of conservative Evangelicals followed in the comments section, which got me to thinking about some things that have bothered me for some time.

For one thing, the cynically broad-brushed comments – that assume the participants in Red Envelope Day will be lazy, suburban, do-nothings, who are unwilling to carry their Pro-Life convictions beyond the mailbox – are so edifyingly Christ-like that, when I read them, I almost got up out of my wheelchair and walked. Thank God for self-righteous non-Evangelicals!!! (Cue the 'Hallelujah Chorus'.)

Why is it that at the same time they're chastising Pro-Lifers, for not being sensitive enough to those who may be faced with an unexpected/unwanted pregnancy, the critics show no sensitivity for those they're chastising? Why is hypocrisy so often used to condemn hypocrisy? Are they unaware – or do they just not care??

It seems the height of hypocrisy to bash Conservatives for being superficial, when so many of the criticisms are based on the most outwardly obvious manifestations of sin. And while the more 'progressive/sophisticated' critics are always quick to profess an awareness that they themselves are “far from perfect” and “the worst of sinners”, the stones they're casting would seem to indicate they don't really believe that at all.

Jesus said that the world will know we're his disciples by the fact that we love one another (you know, by attacking one another in public)? He also had strong words for those who would judge others hypocritically (and the words weren't 'blessed are you when...'). So why do critics think it's okay to show more respect for unbelievers than for fellow believers?

I wonder if part of the reason is because they usually don't know the unbeliever well enough to despise them, yet? Or perhaps there is a sense of smug superiority when around those who are still so obviously entangled in sin. Also, unbelievers are less likely to expect you to behave in a Christ-like way. And why is it always assumed that the troubled person is an unbeliever? Maybe they're as much of a believer as the critic – only their sins are a little harder to hide than intellectual pride.

Why does it never seem to occur to the 'critics-in-Christ', that people like those Red Envelope mailers may be just as in need of understanding and compassion as the pregnant teen, homeless wino, or battered wife?? Conservative Christians are often no more or less likely to have their acts together than anyone else. And you know what really stinks? They're your brothers and sisters in Christ (if your faith is in Jesus). They're your family – the unbelievers are not. Those annoying Evangelicals have been called to dine at the same table as you have – and by the same Host.

It's not that criticism is wrong in and of itself. Far from it. There is plenty to criticize about all branches of modern Churchianity. But the “I know I'm not perfect, but at least I'm not like those idiots” brand of criticism is something for which Jesus had less than positive words.

From the Truth-Is-Stranger-Than-Fiction Dept.

Fish With Transparent Head Filmed

Take,...eat...

Well, they've finally decided on the communion wafer to be used along with the kool-aid being drunk by the worshipers of the new messiah.

On Valentine's Day...

Once upon a long ago, a girl named Patty fell in love with an unemployed, progressively disabled dude, who was ten years her senior and had nothing of any worldly value to offer her. And, as if that weren't insane enough, he was in a rock band with his disabled brother!!! And as if to prove just how outrageous love can be: when he was crazy enough to ask her to marry him -- she was crazy enough to say "Yes"!!! And they've lived happily ever after, ever since.

To many people in this world, that story would just seem ridiculous. But, in reality, it's just the kind of crazy that love delights in.

Patty and I recently celebrated our ninth wedding anniversary. I cannot even begin to fathom the incredible love and grace she blesses me with on a daily basis (I'm certainly not worthy of such devotion.)

So, to celebrate Valentine's Day, I've added four songs I wrote for her (from three of our albums) onto my Imeem account. It's just my pathetic attempt to shout from the rooftop that I love her more than I can ever fully express (but, undoubtedly, far less than she truly deserves). She is a daily example to me of unconditional love and amazing grace.

Happy Valentine's Day. If you're even half as blessed as I am, you are blessed indeed.

(To hear the songs, just go to http://www.myspace.com/rascapalian)

and listen to the songs:
"Love Like This"
"Cinnamon Days"
"Almost Too Real"
"You'll Be The One".

Enjoy!

Well, That's A Relief!

Turns out it was all a big goof-up. Michael Phelps (gold medal Oympic swimmer) apparently thought the apparatus he's pictured with was a heated snorkel, and he was just trying to keep the pilot light lit. Boy, was he embarrassed!*





*Surely no one really believes he would intentionally smoke dope. I mean, that would be as unthinkably lame as the media turning it into an international front-page news story (and we all know that could never happen.)

Ghosts and Spirits (a review)

In 1945, C. S. Lewis wrote a book entitled The Great Divorce. The story was about a group of people who were given a bus ride from Hell to Heaven. Once there, they had only to express the desire to stay, and they would have received all the blessings Heaven can offer. The fascinating thing about The Great Divorce, besides how few of the passengers choose to stay, is how familiar their excuses sound for not staying. I daresay that anyone who's ever been part of, or privy to, conversations about the Gospel has undoubtedly heard many (if not all) of the excuses offered by the book's characters (and many of us may have used or still use them ourselves). It is a wonderfully written, thought-provoking book.

In August 2007, Seattle native Phil Woodward released Ghosts and Spirits – a concept album based on The Great Divorce. Each of the songs is sung from the perspective of one or more characters from the book. The songwriting, arrangements, and performances are all first rate. The production is immaculate. The lyrics are intelligent, literate, and thought-provoking, yet very accessible. The music is deceptively laid-back (which is to say: there's a lot more going on than may, at first, appear to be the case) – there is an understated urgency and energy that makes for a compelling listening experience.

The album's title refers to the state of the various characters in the book. The passengers are thin and insubstantial (like ghosts) – everything in Heaven causes them some kind of pain or discomfort, because they aren't real enough to experience it as anything other than unbearable. The inhabitants of Heaven have spiritual bodies, and are able to experience Heaven as it really is.

After leaving some comments at the album website, I realized that (with a little tweaking) I could cobble them together into something resembling a review. This is that something.

The Grey Town:
Great lead-off song. It's got a deceptively bouncy beat (matching the character's deceptively upbeat initial description of the town), but there's just enough repetitiveness to the melody of the last verse to convey the bureaucratic malaise that permeates this place from where the passengers depart (where you can have anything you want – except JOY). Well done.

Safety:
A lilting waltz, this time, as the character dances around Heaven's offer to make him fully alive. I love how the song captures the sense of the passenger's desperate belief that an autonomous delusion is preferable to any Divine JOY that requires a surrender of the lies he tells himself (even if he knows they are lies). As the character says, “I know it's not real, but it's safe.” For some people, God's love is scarier than Hell (perhaps, for them, it is Hell).

The Bleeding Charity:
One passenger (a ghost) encounters a former co-worker (a spirit), and doesn't like it one bit. I like how the guitar tone is a little grittier on this one, capturing the working-class background (if memory serves) of the characters. And there is a looseness to the playing that gives the sense that the ghost's reasons for resisting the 'Bleeding Charity' aren't terribly sophisticated. (I'm very impressed with the care taken to make the components of each song work together to paint a fuller picture of the character being portrayed.)

Thirst for Water, Inquiry for Truth:
As a fan of the old Moody Blues albums of the late '60s/early '70s, this one brought a smile and a chuckle. I've always been a fan of spoken-word pieces on albums (when they're done well), and I think this one is great. Backed by only a string quartet, it's a striking contrast to the previous song's grittier tone and characters. The smug intellectual dismissal of anything meaningful or Divine; thinking himself wise, and all that.

Trust In A Sigh:
Another deceptively happy sounding song – but there is a wistfulness to the melody that belies that happiness. Cynicism is, too often, a coward's refuge. And like most cynics, the character in this song thinks he's that way because he's seen too much. But the truth is: he's seen too little. Still, he's content to coast along – secure in the conceit that he sees the world as it really is. Nicely and subtly done.

The Teacher:
There's a playfully funky vibe to this one. Guitarist Myron Marston's ebullient fret-work really carries the song as it dances and shines – unfolding, with a barely contained exuberance, the invitation to open our eyes and see the glorious offer that Grace extends. The interplay between the musicians really starts to percolate towards the end. And Ann Edwards' backing-vocals are a delight.

First Love:
Here we encounter an artist who has lost touch with why he started painting in the first place. I love how the melody and vocal on the primary verses convey the artist's weariness. I think every artist, who's tried to balance making a living with being true to their art, has felt the pressure to compromise to the point of selling out – and it's amazing how it can kill the JOY of creating.

I also love how the secondary verses, where he remembers the JOY of inspiration (or was JOY the inspiration?), express that JOY so well. They just seem to come bursting to life (does the music shift from minor to major chords there?) – but then it's back to his lament over what he's lost. Like everything on this album, it's incredibly well done.

(Only) A Mother:
This has to be one of the most powerful songs on the album. It's beautiful – but chilling. A mother won't see how misguided her professed love for her son is, and rejects the glorious bliss of Heaven, rather than admit that her “love” for (and control of) her son has become her god. It is hauntingly tragic.

The Lizard and the Stallion:
It's a little hard to describe this one – but not because I don't like it. The lyrics are kind of darkly abstract (which is always cool with me), and the music is heavy with weariness. For the first part of the song, you really get a sense of the depth of the character's struggle with his lust. It's as if you can feel his inner turmoil.

But when the second part of the song starts to take off, as the character is transformed, the music vividly expresses the sense of liberation being described. The way the music and vocal build up perfectly captures the celebratory praise of the new man he's become. The simple, ringing guitar lead makes this part of the song dance with JOY. I hope people don't skip past this one because the first part is so dark and serious (which it has to be), because they'll miss the euphoric second part. Good stuff.

Saint Sarah:
Keeping the music kind of simple really brings out the lyrics, and captures the graceful simplicity of the song's character. She's so full of Grace and Love that everyone, and everything, around her is transformed (isn't that kind of what Christians are supposed to be like?). She was seemingly a nobody on Earth – but in Heaven she's celebrated like royalty. Beautifully done.

Vetoing Heaven:
This is probably my favorite song on the album (although I really, REALLY like them all). Maybe it's some of the proggier touches, but this one really gets me. The way it takes off and jams, about half-way into the song, is an exhilarating little kick in the pants. Then – about 2/3 of the way into the song – it skids to a halt (great guitar note there), and transitions into a beautifully orchestrated final movement (honestly, it's one of the most moving pieces of music I've ever heard – I listen to it over and over). Then the last two verses – as the character realizes he can no longer manipulate people in Heaven as he did on Earth – are so pathetic it's devastating. Wow! A very moving and powerful (albeit sad) song. Amazing job. (I can only imagine how it would sound live!)

The Sunrise:
I love how the music builds slowly on this one, like the breaking of a new day. The lyrics are spare, but have a praise-like intensity. JOY seems to bubble up and overflow from some deep holy place. I also love how it breaks off unexpectedly – as if awakened suddenly from a beautiful dream – leaving only the pipe organ playing, like the haunting after-glow of a Divine encounter. What a wonderful finish to a wonderful album.

One needn't have read The Great Divorce to enjoy Ghosts and Spirits. But if you have read the book, I think you'll have an even greater appreciation of the songs.

You can can listen to the entire album at www.ghostsandspirits.net. Please do.

There is also info about where you can purchase the CD or download it directly (I downloaded mine from Amazon.com).

If you love great, thoughtful music – that can be listened to again and again without ever wearing out it's welcome – then please give Ghosts and Spirits a chance. This is the kind of album that deserves to be heard by a much wider audience. It just gets better with each listen.

The words "Rode Hard And Put Up Wet" come to mind.

The problem with being a 'Material Girl' is that the material tends to wear out - leaving only a soulless, decrepit husk.

But I guess it's hard to grow old gracefully, when you haven't lived any of your life that way up until then.

The Gates of Hell?

Why isn't Bill Gates in prison? Seriously. How do you get away with knowingly selling an inferior product to the public (Vista), doing seemingly next to nothing to really fix the problems, discontinuing a product (XP) that a lot of people preferred to the new product, and then announcing that you'll be releasing a newer product (currently code-named Windows 7) within a year, but before you've even straightened out the problems with the current product? WHY ISN'T HE IN PRISON???

Why keep coming out with new operating systems? Why not just develope one that works, then keep improving and expanding it?

I bet I know why. Money. You don't get that rich just from selling the public something that works like it's supposed to, and then continually improving it. You've got to have an angle – something that guarantees not just profits, but obscene profits. Sell your soul to the Devil profits.

"Oh, but Bill Gates is a great philanthropist."

Says who? He's worth $50,000,000,000 (that's 50 BILLION DOLLARS). He could, literally, give away 90% of his fortune to charity and he'd still be worth 5 BILLION DOLLARS!!! Think about how insane that is.

Funny thing about billionaires: you really have to watch them, when they start talking about giving big chunks of their money away. Remember the big deal made out of Ted Turner giving a billion dollars to the U.N., back in the '90s? Everybody oohed and ahhed about how generous ol' Ted was (and he soaked up the accolades). But it turned out that it was a total of a billion dollars, to be paid out over 10 years (in other words, he didn't just write out a check for $1,000,000,000). And then, when the economy slowed down (around the turn of the millennium), he set out to renegotiate the terms to 15 years.

You'll occasionally hear someone recite the old platitude that "a man should spend the first half of his life acquiring as much wealth as he can, and the second half giving it all away" – as if the second half's charity will make up for the first half's greed. The problem, however, is that both are driven by self-centered motives: greed is obviously self-centered – but charity which is done to try to compensate for previous sins is also self-centered, because you're still doing it for your own benefit. (Such charity would still be better than greed – because you're, at least, giving rather than taking – but your motivation is still self-centered.)

Bill Gates has got more money than some countries. And, yet, he nickles and dimes his customers for every bit of help they need when trying to figure out what's wrong with a product that he knew was screwed-up when he released it in the first place. How is that even legal?? (Ooh, let me guess: Lawyers. With $60,000,000,000 he's probably got a legal 'dream team' that makes O.J.'s look like the Three Stooges.)

Sometimes suicide bombers seem like a reasonable response.

I've Got A Question.

What is the big deal about Facebook? I checked it out - I don't get the attraction. Maybe I missed something. Why is it preferable to MySpace?

Oh, and the answer, "It's MySpace for grown-ups", only proves it isn't.

Gone Fishin'

Well, not wanting to waste any of the new year on ridiculously pointless nonsense, PETA (yes, that PETA) has come up with a sure-fire strategy to get us to stop eating our aquatic neighbors.

They've started a campaign to rename fish: 'sea kittens'.

I kid you not. (There's even a petition you can sign to "Ask the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service to stop promoting sea kitten hunting.")

Take a couple of minutes to let the sublime genius of such a strategy sink in. Seriously. I'll wait.

Brilliant, isn't it? And, yet, so simple. I don't know why someone didn't think of it years ago.

Their website claims that: "Nobody would hurt a kitten...People don't seem to like fish." Which, of course, is patently false to anyone not taking whatever drugs the folks at PETA are ingesting. But why let a little reality spoil a blatantly preposterous publicity stunt?

The truth is, people hurt kittens all the time (not all the idiots are in PETA, you know). And people LOVE fish: broiled, fried, baked, or raw (been to a Captain D's or sushi bar lately?).

On the other hand (the one not leaving trails), people don't seem to hesitate eating hush puppies, or chili cheese pups, or corn dogs, or hot dogs, or catfish. And people don't like to eat hair, but they'll eat a fish called a mullet. Also, people tend to dislike the taste of steel, but they'll still eat swordfish.

Hmmmm,...now that I think about it, perhaps associating something delicious with something cute or inedible won't be such a deterrent after all. Maybe PETA's latest stroke of genius is really just a...stroke. Period. I mean, if that campaign isn't a sign of seriously diminished brain function, I don't know what is.

But, you know, recent studies have shown that eating fish can help fight cognitive decline and depression. So maybe what all those PETA people really need is to eat more sea kittens! (Hey, it's just a thought – assuming they still remember what one of those is.)

Shadows of the Nativity.

Snow
By Keith Patman (©1980)

Was it a cold awakening Christmas morning
In a wooden trough,
In spite of straw and swaddling clothes and angel songs?
That was not to be the last time you’d be laid upon the wood
(There were Herods, Judases from the start
Among the stars and shepherds).
And did they smile, those simple folk,
And kiss your tiny hands and weep delight?
They’d touch those hands again someday,
Believing you through cracks and scars.
     Then oh! the million Christmas mornings
When you’d lie, a babe again,
Beneath a million million trees
And hear the countless tongues chanting your name.
     And oh! the white snow on black shingles
Where icy crystals capture windows
And fires glow and mistletoe is wreathed and strung.
     But ah . . . will they remember crimson
Dripping from the iron nails
And will they pray and will they know
A whiter white than
     Snow?

 


 
[from the album Centerpoint, by Jeff Johnson]

For Your Meditation and Edification.

"Mary's Song"
by Lucy Shaw

Blue homespun and the bend of my breast
keep warm this small hot naked star
fallen to my arms. (Rest.....
you who have had so far
to come.) Now nearness satisfies
the body of God sweetly. Quiet he lies
whose vigor hurled
a universe. He sleeps
whose eyelids have not closed before.

His breath (so slight it seems
no breath at all) once ruffled the dark deeps
to sprout a world.
Charmed by dove's voices, the whisper of straw,
he dreams,
hearing no music from his other spheres.
Breath, mouth, ears, eyes
he is curtailed
who overflowed all skies,
all years.

Older than eternity, now he
is new. Now native to earth as I am, nailed
to my poor planet, caught that I might be free,
blind in my womb to know my darkness ended,
brought to this birth
for me to be new-born,
and for him to see me mended
I must see him torn.

From the Things-That-Seem-Too-Good-To-Be-True-But-Are-True-Anyway Dept.

Who doesn't love a good 20 minute prog rock epic, with great Hammond organ, fat guitar tones, and cool vocals and harmonies? (The correct answer, of course, is: "no one".)

Who cares if the band is Norwegian, and their English is good-but-not-perfect? (Once again, the correct answer is: "no one".)

Who wouldn't find their life greatly improved (dare I say, blessed, even?) for having such a wonderful piece of musical magicality in their possession ‒ especially if it's FREE??? (Yet again, the correct answer is: "no one".)

So go to the following link, and partake of this bounty of prognificent profundity. (The song is called "Change".) Trust me. It is good ‒ it is very good.

Oh, and while you're there, you might as well grab the song "Pointless Masquerade", too. It's from their second album and is also offered as a FREE download (I know, I did that same high-pitched girlie squeal, too!). It only clocks in at 8:59, but don't let it's relative brevity dissuade you.

Go to http://www.smsmp3.com/kat/000407.asp?dir=Magic%20Pie

So go get them. Both of them. NOW!!! And PLAY THEM LOUD!!!! And if they don't make you smile, and want to jump and dance around the room, then you're probably going to hell or something (hey, I don't make the rules).

Did I mention that the band is called Magic Pie? This is good pie.
Bon appétit!

I Remember...

I remember people thinking that Jimmy Carter would be a great President because he was a born-again Christian.

I remember people wringing their hands in despair, convinced that Ronald Reagan would get us into World War III.

I remember people thinking that George H. W. Bush would not raise taxes.

I remember people thinking that Bill Clinton would neither balance the budget, nor pursue welfare reform.

I remember people believing that George W. Bush would reign in big government, and be fiscally conservative.

It's both funny and sad how often people fail to meet expectations (whether good or bad), but that's what happens when you put too much confidence in flawed, fallen human beings.

Why do people expect more from their government than they do from their friends, their neighbors, or their selves? We want a government that is fiscally responsible – but, too often, we are not fiscally responsible ourselves. We want honesty and integrity in our elected officials, but we often don't exhibit those virtues in our own lives. Elected officials are generally a reflection of the people who elected them. In other words: we get the government we deserve (even if we don't vote).

It's as if Christians in America have developed spiritual dyslexia. Jesus said to "Render to Caesar the things that are Caesar’s, and to God the things that are God’s." But the excessive pessimism and optimism, about exactly how President Obama will govern, seem to indicate that far too many professed Christians are rendering unto Caesar the things that are God's – namely, the faith that our ultimate prosperity or poverty are dependent on government legislation.

I'm not saying that getting involved in politics (or social causes) is pointless or wrong. But if you find yourself in a state of hopelessness or despair, because your candidate didn't win – or just the opposite, because your's did – then perhaps your political or social cause has become your religion.

Whether he is a success or a failure as Commander-in-Chief, only time will tell. But one thing is certain: he's neither the Messiah, nor the Anti-Christ. And those who think he's one or the other are bound to be disappointed, either way.